The beloved sitcom Friends is a show about a group of adults navigating their twenties, learning how to overcome their childhood insecurities, and figuring out who and what they want to be in this world. And though we all make mistakes on the bumpy road to adulthood, some mistakes are the result of selfish and outlandish behaviour rather than simple missteps.
When the show begins, Ross’s world is crashing around him, and we truly feel for him. He lost his first love, she is having his child and raising it with someone else, and he lost his home as well. But being a tragic figure does not prevent you from being in the wrong. Today, we will review ten moments from the long running show where Ross was truly in the wrong.
Ben And His Doll
Carol and Susan are determined to raise Ben to be the person that he wants to be. They have no interest in forcing traditional gender roles upon him and he is free to choose the toys that appeal to him the most. So, he ends up choosing a doll and falls in love with the thing.
But Ross is so stuck in his gendered ways that he throws a fit over his infant child playing with a Barbie. He tries to pry the doll from his own child’s hands and force a G.I.Joe (a.k.a. a male doll) onto Ben for the entire length of the episode. Why can’t he simply accept that his son enjoys playing with dolls? What is wrong with that?
Oblivious To Monica’s Struggles
When Rachel and Ross begin to date, Monica is irritated to find that her big brother is spending all of his time in her house. She grew up, moved out, and though she was fine with seeing him in small doses, his constant presence begins to remind her of some of the less than ideal moments of her childhood. Monica was always the odd duck and her brother was the star in his parents eyes that could do no wrong. Resentment naturally grew and Monica was not a fan of her brother during their formative years.
But Ross is so trapped inside his own little world that he never even noticed how his sister felt. Neither growing up nor as an adult when encroaching on her space. Monica has to sit him down and explain the effect that the constant praise (that was dealt to Ross) and criticism (that was sent her way) had on her.
The Mark Saga
Viewers were delighted to see Rachel leave behind the world of coffee and napkins and slowly make her way up in the fashion world. She left a life of always being in someone else’s shadow and craved to make it on her own. And she was doing it, thanks to a chance encounter with a man that would become one of her closest friends (outside of the core group.)
But Ross could not handle his girlfriend being friends with a man that was not also part of his own friend group and became insanely jealous. His jealousy became a destructive force in their relationship and was, honestly, truly disrespectful to Rachel.
The Evolution Debate
Phoebe has always been a woman of fascinating and unique beliefs. She lives in her own universe, and it’s one of the things that makes her such an utter delight. She accepts that each person has their own ideas of how things should be and though she does like to play with her friends, she usually tends to respect their unique paths.
Ross, on the other hand, is so offended that Phoebe doesn’t believe in evolution that he spends an entire episode harassing her about it. Yes, we understand that his job is centred around the belief system but he should, at the very least, respect that his friend prescribes to a different school of thought. But Ross always has to be right and can never let anything go.
Rachel And Paris
What was supposed to be a truly romantic moment in the series and a beautiful conclusion fell a little flat for some fans of the series. When Rachel is offered her dream job, Ross seems to do everything he can to make the choice of whether or not to pursue such things as hard as he possibly can for her. She asks Ross to come with her and he gives some of the weakest excuses possible in a move that made it feel like Rachel had to sacrifice everything she’s ever worked for to be with a man who would never do the same for her.
Ross claims that he cannot transfer his job, that he cannot leave everything he knows behind, and that he would miss Ben. Rachel is also leaving everything she knows behind, we are sure that there are universities and dinosaur bones in Europe, and let’s be honest, he rarely saw Ben in the first place. And we are pretty sure Carol and Susan would love an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris to allow Ben to visit his father.
Dissing Paolo
In the end, Paolo turned out to be a rather unsavory character. But Ross disliked him from the very start. And we get it. It can be hard to watch someone that you care for fall for a total stranger.
But he has no claim to her. He has not vocalized his feelings. And his weird ownership towards this woman that he has not seen in years and has just recently let back into his life is honestly creepy.
His College Girlfriend
While working as a professor, Ross receives a positive (and flirty) evaluation that leads him to pursue a relationship with one of his students. One of his very young (legal but very young) students. A relationship that risks his job and professional reputation, that his friends continually point out is questionable, and that the girls own father tries his best to stop.
He ends up realizing that the girl is too young for him (emotionally) and ends the relationship. But that doesn’t excuse how creepy the relationship was in the first place.
Chandler’s Mom
Kissing your friend’s mom is just weird. It is usually a good idea to avoid sexual or romantic relationships with the family members of your closest friends. But the issue gets more complex in the case of Chandler’s mom.
Throughout the show, it is made very clear that Chandler is struggling with deeply rooted childhood trauma caused, primarily, by his parents divorce (as well as the openly sexual nature of the home in which he was raised.) He was never comfortable with how open with mother was nor was he comfortable with how his friends reacted to her. Ross knows this. Kissing Chandler’s mom was a true betrayal, intentional or not.
The Male Nanny
This is one of the more black and white episodes concerning Ross and his antics. Sometimes viewers can emphasize with the rough time that Ross is going through and can excuse his more minute mistakes. But this episode was truly uncomfortable for all who watched it. In this episode, Rachel hires a nanny to watch their child and Ross has a serious problem with the fact that their nanny is male.
The nanny is kind, sensitive, wonderful with kids, respectful to both parents, and a perfect fit. Rachel loves him, as does Emma, and there is nothing wrong with him. But Ross has rather sexist notions of what men and women should do and throws a fit over the whole situation. He eventually manipulates Rachel into firing the nanny by accusing her of forcing him to allow someone that makes him genuinely uncomfortable into his home.
“We Were On A Break”
The break itself is not the issue. It does not matter whether or not they were truly on a break. Not in the slightest. The true issue is the fact that Ross literally yells this phrase at Rachel constantly throughout the show.
As a joke, as an excuse, whenever his ego is bruised, he shouts these words at his ex and we are not fans of this sort of immature, disrespectful, and truly gross behaviour.
