Right from the get-go, Phoebe was the quirkiest of the Friends gang. From her fashion to her music to her general approach to life, Phoebe was definitely out-there, and wasn’t afraid to show it… but by the end of the series, she was very different. She was still a bit quirky, but most of her wildest ways were toned down, and she’d even become happily married and traded up her independent massage place for a chain spa.
Not all of her changes were bad, of course, and plenty of these were just part of the growing up that all the Friends did from the pilot to the series finale. But whether they were for the better, or just made Phoebe a little more generic, these are some of the biggest differences fans would notice from start to finish.
Gives Up Her Music
In the early season of the show, Phoebe is constantly performing, and her music is one of the biggest parts of her personality. Whether it is her gigs at Central Perk, her work being used in a commercial, or playing outside the coffee house or Monica’s restaurant, Phoebe is rarely without her guitar. However, as the show progresses, this is a side of her that is seen less and less. Presumably, she still plays for fun (and with Mike, seeing as they are both musical), but her focus on music as a potential career seems to fade away by the end.
Fell In Love
From the start, Phoebe could be extremely romantic, but she never seemed overly concerned about getting married and settling down. She had her flings, but she didn’t have any real long-term serious relationships. Even David, who was a big deal, wasn’t a very long relationship as he had to go to Minsk, and it seemed like she was ok with being perma-single. However, by the end, she has not only married, she has changed her name to his and really settled down.
Learns To Respect Rachel
At the start of the show, Phoebe isn’t exactly Rachel’s biggest fan, and it’s easy to see why; she’d flaky, spoiled, and has always had it easy, whereas Phoebe has had an extraordinarily hard life. However, by the end of the show the two are incredibly close - they’ve lived together, they’ve gone running together, they’ve learned from each other, and they’ve stood with each other through weddings and childbirth. And while Phoebe may have initially just put up with Rachel because Monica made everyone be nice to her, the two end the series as true friends.
Gets Her Temper Under Control
Much as we love Phoebe, she definitely has a bit of a temper at the start of the series - or at least, a total lack of filter. She had no problem shouting at people, whether that was when she was pretending to be Ursula (after finding out she was in porn and screaming at her fans), or just getting angry at random people who annoyed her.
For someone so sweet and friendly, her intense temper was occasionally surprising, but it definitely seemed to be less and less apparent as the show went on and she became happier. We’re willing to bet that she can still lose it when crossed, though!
Learns To Let Go
Although Phoebe always seemed like the silly, fun-loving, hippy of the group, it was increasingly clear that she had some unresolved issues with her past. However, by the end of the series, she’d managed to have the chance to really address most of these - her issues with Ursula, the torch she held for her first husband, her love for David… she managed to get some closure on all of it, and while she would still mention her history, it seemed to get lighter as the show went on.
Becomes More Honest
In the early seasons, it was revealed that Phoebe was definitely not a particularly honest person. She lied to her own roommate about moving out, and basically snuck out. She lied to Monica about trying to cut her out, too. She stole a police badge and lied about being a cop, she even convinced Joey to lie about being a doctor to try and hit on a guy in a hospital bed! Admittedly, she remains less than scrupulously honest throughout, lying about her work at the spa, and lying about being her sister to steal her paychecks, but the lying seemed to get less and less as the show went on. It seems that by the end, she was actually almost entirely honest.
Tones Down Her Fashion Sense
Of all the changes that Phoebe went through, this might be the one that is actually a bad thing, becuase fans loved Phoebe’s out-there fashion sense at the start. She was always in really bright colors (who didn’t love her orange coat?), wild accessories, and clothing that really showed her personality.
By the end, much of her wardrobe was really toned down, and looked like anyone would wear it. She did keep her signature chunky rings, thankfully, but it was a bit of a shame to see her clothing become so toned down.
Chooses A Stable Job
Similarly, Phoebe makes the choice to give up her spot at an independent massage parlor, and work as an employee of a big chain spa - which could be seen as toning things down. However, as Phoebe points out, it’s actually just a smart move for the future. Her new job, even though it’s at a cookie cutter spa, provides her with a steady paycheck and benefits, two things that are hugely important. It seems like she starts to recognize that sometimes, it’s ok to take the ‘corporate’ route in order to be happy.
Makes Peace With Her Family
Everyone’s family shows up over the course of the series, and Phoebe’s is possibly the most complicated of all. At the start of the show, she has no family - her mother killed herself and her father abandoned them, and her grandmother died relatively early in the series (and Ursula is, of course, the definition of an evil twin). However, by the end, she manages to meet and make peace with most of her family. She meets her father and her half-brother, and even ends up carrying triplets for her half-brother and his wife! She meets her birth mother and welcomes her into her life, and even makes peace with Lily (in the form of a cat).
Embraced Wanting A ‘Normal’ Life
Overall, the biggest change in Phoebe is that she seems to become comfortable with the idea of wanting a ’normal’ life. She stops resisting the idea that she would ever want marriage or a family or a settled job, and admits that really, she wants to be a ‘soccer mom’. This may be what helps her become more honest, and more respectful, too - as she becomes comfortable with the normie side of herself, as well as the totally quirky one, and realizes that she can find a way to be both.
