Phoebe Buffay is probably the most interesting of the Friends - after all, who else has stabbed a cop or grew up on a barge or taught themselves French and guitar? However, for all her wild and fabulous history, Phoebe has definitely made her share of mistakes over the course of the show.
Sometimes it’s mistakes in love, sometimes it’s mistakes in her career, and most of the time, it’s mistakes in her friendships. However, the best thing about watching someone make these kinds of floopy mistakes is that we get to learn how not to repeat them.
Moving In With Someone Too Soon
Phoebe actually has healthier relationships than many of the Friends, even if they aren’t always straightforward… but that doesn’t mean that she never makes mistakes. Early on in the show, one of her biggest mistakes is moving in with Gary, a cop that she starts dating, incredibly early in their relationship. This ends badly, of course, when he shoots a bird out the window while they are lying in bed! It’s a totally bonkers thing to do, and maybe if Phoebe had got to know him a little better, she wouldn’t have had to move in and then out again. Moral of the story: get to know someone before moving in!
Holding A Grudge (Because Of A Dream)
This one has to be one of Phoebe’s most bonkers mistakes… when she refused to speak to Ross for days because of a dream she had about him. She didn’t even know that was why, either, she just knew that she was mad at him, and then later realized why, and felt ridiculous. What we can all learn from this one is not to hold grudges or refuse to speak to friends - it’s childish and it just makes no sense!!
‘Cutting Out’ A Friend
At one point Phoebe admits that she does this all the time when her friends start to bother her - and she might not see it as a mistake, but we do! Especially as one person that she tried to ‘cut out’, Monica, remained one of her closest friends for years! Instead of cutting her out, Phoebe should have just talked to her, and maybe moved past some minor issues to realize how important a friend she really was. Lesson being to cherish friendships - and if one isn’t working, talk about it, don’t just ghost them.
Asking A Boyfriend To Put Her Above His Career
Admittedly, Phoebe realized that this was a mistake in time to fix it, but she did try and ask David to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime for his work, causing a rift with his partner and best friend, all to stay with her in New York. Thankfully, she realized it was a mistake and eventually told him to go, but don’t make her mistake, and support a partner’s career, instead of trying to selfishly derail it.
Taking On A Job She Was Ashamed Of…
For most of the series, Phoebe is an independent massage therapist, and staunchly supportive of small businesses, refusing to have anything to do with big corporations. However, later in the show, Pheobe sacrifices her principles to work for a chain spa, because the pay is better and she gets benefits.
This is a mistake no matter how you look at it - either she should have stuck to her principles, or she should have been unashamed about realizing that stability was more important and just been proud of her own decisions.
…And Lying To Her Friends About It
To make things worse, Phoebe lies to her friends about her job, and eventually gets caught out by Rachel. Because of course she does! Lying to friends is always a mistake, especially about something as major as where you go every single day. Just tell the truth, and don’t be ashamed of the work that you do or the decisions you make. True friends will be supportive, and Phoebe’s friends were, in the end.
Left Open Flames Unattended (All The Time!)
When Rachel and Phoebe are living together, everything was going well… until the apartment caught on fire! And while it was eventually discovered that the cause of this was Rachel’s hair straighteners being left on, Phoebe assumes it’s her fault at first, becuase it turns out that she leaves candles and incense burning unattended all. the. time. This is a pretty simple lesson to learn from her mistakes - just put them out when you leave the house!
Sulks About London (Instead Of Talking About Her Feelings)
When Phoebe is pregnant, she isn’t able to fly to London for Ross’s wedding - which sucks, but her friends do their best, and she’s on the phone with them for the big day itself. However, when they get back and are happily talking about their trip, Phoebe acts like a child, sulking and whining, and then complaining when they try and make it up to her with a fun day together.
Rather than taking Phoebe’s approach, maybe just talk to friends if they are making you feel left out. If Phoebe had done that, she may have been able to even get to Atlantic City with them for a fun trip before having the babies.
Refused To Believe Rachel’s College Stories
This may have ended up being more of a mistake that rebounds on Rachel than on Phoebe herself, but it was still a mistake. When Rachel told a story about kissing a sorority sister in college, Phoebe flat out refuses to believe her - which is just kind of rude to begin with! She does eventually find out that Rachel is telling the truth, but only after creating an awkward situation where Rachel’s old friend confesses her love… don’t be like Phoebe. Just believe your friends - after all, you should trust the people that you care about most!
Tries To Trick Her Way Into What She Wants (Instead of Just Asking For It)
This isn’t just one situation, of course, but multiple - becuase Phoebe seems to constantly make the mistake of trying to manipulate her way into what she wants, rather than just being honest about it. And most of the time, just being honest would get her what she wants! When she wants tickets to see a show, she tries to manipulate Sting’s wife into getting them… when just asking meant that she actually got them. We can all learn from Phoebe’s mistakes here, and just be upfront about things… life may not be as funny, but it would be a whole lot easier!
